Everything
by Akama Black
Summary: Since the day he inherited Satan's flames, Rin has not aged a single day. His brother, who in this story has never become a demon, has moved through his years as any other human would. Today, Rin must say goodbye. (I corrected some typos in this one- didn't realize I'd kill my stats reposting-please, no disrespect to the readers - that was entirely my fault)


_One shot. I do not own anything of Blue Exorcist. _

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_Teach me how to deal with this_, Rin thought numbly. His brother's breathing was so horribly ragged, it shook Rin to his core. His Yukio, his Paladin, his best friend lay there, a ghost of his former self, weakened by the cancer that had ravaged his body. Mephisto had brought in the best doctors money could afford and had given Yukio anything he had asked for. Never before had the stingy demon freed his purse strings. Towards the end, Yukio had requested three things. One, that their father's monastery would never be closed. It would always be open to those in need. The boys who found solace there when the world abandoned them, would forever be cared for until they could make it on their own. Dad would have approved. Two, that that the Okumura Clinic remain funded so that those who couldn't pay would always receive care. In addition to the roles he had played here at True Cross, Yukio had poured his life into being a doctor. He said it made him whole when he could make people feel better. Lastly, that their descendants would continue to receiving a full scholarship to the academy when it was their time to enter the world of higher learning.

Although he had fought for, loved by and would have died at Yukio's side, Rin couldn't grow old with him. Rin had not aged a single day from when his flames first manifested themselves. Yukio had, on the other hand, moved through his years as any normal human being would have. From fifteen to eighty nine, the years had flown by. Rin shook his head in utter disbelief looking into the emaciated face of his beloved brother. It simply couldn't have been that long.

Rin stroked his brother's skeletal hand with his thumb careful not to put too much pressure on the brittle fingers. Yukio would never make it to ninety. He touched the pasty streak around Yukio's finger. His brother's matching wedding band had become so loose, Rin had put it on a chain. It now balanced atop Yukio's protruding collar bone.

How could it have happened so fast? Last year- just last year, Yukio had been fine. Sure he'd been weak a long while- he'd earned the right to retire. But he laughed, he sang, and he knew the name of every plant and tree on their hikes.

Then the cough had begun...and the pain in his brother's bones. Cancer that had started in the lungs from breathing in maisma all his life, had metastasized throughout his bones like wild fire.

_It wasn't fair.  
_  
"I'm not ready for you to go," choked Rin leaning his tear soaked cheek against Yukio's fevered forearm. The skin was so thin Rin could count his veins.

They had planned this, no... Yukio had planned it for them. When his time was short, Yukio had instructed Rin to bring him his medical kit. In it, Yukio had assembled a series of shots that Rin was to administer. Yukio had shown him how to do it pushing the needles into oranges. Rin swore he'd never be able to eat the fruit again.

"I won't be able to do it myself. I'll need you. Tell me you will. Don't let me die like that," Yukio had pleaded months ago when hope had turned its face away from them.

Rin rubbed at his raw eyes. "Stay with me, Yukio. Please, stay with me just a little longer. I'll do whatever you say. I'll make you whatever you want. P-please ...just stay..." he cried softly. Rin couldn't do this. He couldn't - he couldn't kill Yukio, not even for this.

But, he had promised he would. He'd assured Yukio that when his brother's pain was so great, or if he was so far gone that he couldn't recognize Rin anymore, that the elder would take the steps Yukio had begged of him to perform.

However, now when the inevitable was upon him, it was too hard to let go. Rin had already lost Shiemi sixteen years ago. An accident, a stupid, senseless accident. God's excuse to take her from him. Now it was his brother's turn too...

Yukio's wheezing brought him back to the present. , "Nii-san," the old man said struggling to breathe, "get me...my glasses I...I want to see."

Rin stood up listless and shuffled them out of their carrying case. He lifted the rectangular frames carefully onto his brothers face. Yukio's squinting eyes shrunk even further under the thick lenses.

"You... you look good ..." He panted cracking a fleeting grin.

Rin looked down at the twists in the sheets. "Yukio... " He mumbled not knowing what to say.

"Bad joke..." _Kuh-Kuhhh_\- , Yukio rasped breaking into a fit of gurgling coughs. The air might as well be an ocean. "It's ok, Nii-san. It's supposed to be this way," he sighed depleted of energy.

_It's not ok! _Rin wanted to growl, tasting angry, salty tears. He didn't mean to be like this. He was going to be strong, dignified, the rock Yukio could lean on. But this was too much. Rin squeezed his eyes shut and bit down on his lip to control himself. He wanted to yell, to scream, to hit something- anything but to just sit here helpless, watching the life fade away from his brothers limbs. _It's not fair_ Rin raged again, balling up his fists. He wanted to throw the flowers, the vases, the bows, the hand drawn pictures from the children, the cards and the big stupid pink teddy bear right out the window. None of them should have been here. Not a damn one of them! None of this should have happened. Not to...

Yukio gasped suddenly, his face contorting in anguish as the next wave of pain gripped him, arching his back. Yukio had refused the morphine drip that morning. This was as far as he was willing going to go. Mephisto sealed off the floor so there'd be no disturbances.

Slowly his spine relaxed and Yukio lay there in the damp sheets sweating profusely. Rin rubbed his taut arm, but he was sure that hurt just as much. A pitiful moan escaped his brother hanging ominously in the antiseptic air.

Yukio's red-rimmed eyes swelled. "...I'm ready... bring them," he said through clenched teeth.

Rin bowed his head, his shoulders shook uncontrollably. He wouldn't ask _Are you sure?_, for he knew Yukio was. A part of him wanted desperately to run away and keep on running. But, he did as he was told.

Yukio strained to roll onto his side. Rin held his head sliding the pillows to the side. He crawled into the bed and laid down next to this stranger, the syringes piled between them. Yellow. Orange. Blue. That was the order to administer them. Morphine. Paralyzer. Death. The blue would stop his brother's heart and that would be it. _Simple_, Yukio had explained, _Even an idiot could do it. _It hadn't been funny then either.

"Yellow" Yukio whispered weakly. He flipped over his wrist exposing the hideous IV.

Rin looked over the bed covers avoiding Yukio's pinched face. "Yukio...I-I don't think..."

"Yes. ..Yes, you can...just...one last mission," Yukio whined in pain and looked down gratefully at the poisons.

Rin's hand quivered. He brought up the cap to his teeth and spat it out. He hated this, everything about this. Everything. The morphine went in as Rin pushed the plunger.

After a moment, Yukio opened his clouded green eyes fully and smiled, "Niiiii-saaaan." The pain erasing itself from his etched face, "Will you still be my strennnngth?"

Rins lower lip trembled, his face burned. His voice hitched, "I...I will, Yukio." The next two shots were to be done one immediately after the other. Yukio warned him that he might seize after the orange, but that Rin needed to keep going or he'd suffocate slowly. Yukio probably wouldn't feel it, but he hadn't wanted Rin to witness something as awful as that. They'd seen enough terrible things in their lifetime.

"Nii-san?" Yukio said quite lucidly.

"Yes, Yukio," Rin answered heavily. He lived for, and he hated these precious moments. They were wonderful and they were awful. Just when you thought the person you knew and cared for had returned, the drug would steal them away. Yukio reached out and wiped Rin's cheek. "I wish...I wish I could tell dad about you...How your students love you. How you were a good father to your kids... Good to Shiemmmmi.." His eyes glassed over and his speech slurred as the narcotic fully kicked in. "I uv yuuu, Nssn"

Rin reached up with both hands cradling the grey stubbled face. "Noooo...", he groaned. _Come back_! "Yukio-don't leave me…" Rin sobbed touching the crown of his head to Yukio's chin. "You can't leave me! I love you, I need you, Yukio. I still need you."

He thought he heard his brother mumble something, but when he looked, Yukio wasn't really there. He was breathing slower, but it still sounded like gravel churning in a barrel. Yukio was staring at nothing, he had already drifted far away.

Rin cast his own eyes down. Orange and blue. If he didn't do it, Yukio would awake in more pain. His brother didn't want that, and Rin didn't want it for him.

A strange calmness settled upon him.

Aria. It had been one of two meisters Rin couldn't master. There was no way he could remember that many lines. Yukio had risen to Paladin. Rin had not, but that had been alright. Rin reached over for Yukio's Bible on the table. He knew what he had to do.

Flipping to the right chapter he inhaled deeply. Sitting crosslegged, he began reading Yukio his last rites. Near the end he stumbled and had to start again. The meager words weren't enough and yet they were far more than he could bare. Yukio, whom Rin had wanted to see live his own life, had devoted himself to protecting his Nii-san. He'd married Shiemi, in name only, so that Rins' children would have a legal male guardian. Rin was the one who had actually raised them. Three sons. They had grown and left, leaving their fathers as they should, with happy memories of their youth. The eldest had been clever, the middle one had been shy and the last had been trouble. Lots and lots of trouble. And Yukio had loved them all. His brother had continued to wear the false wedding ring on his right hand for he said he missed it too much when it wasn't there.

When Rin closed the book, a piece of paper wedged in between the last page and the backing caught his eye. He carefully unfolded it seeing that it was yellowed and quite old. It was difficult to read as the writing was messy, not at all as Yukio's had been. It said, _I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let it be now...Let me not deter or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. _

That's how Yukio had lived from the day he was born until the day he...Rin couldn't complete the thought, "Someone, please forgive me for what I'm about to do,"

Fast. He could do it, maybe, if he did it fast. _I promise,Yukio,_ Rin heard his own voice echo back at him.

Uncapping both shots he laid them on the mattress. Rin could barely see straight. His teeth chattered and his hands shook badly. He was so scared. _I promise, Yukio, I will. _Rin tried to tell himself that it was medicine, that this was what Yukio had wanted_. I will_. _I won't let you down. I promise you I won't. _ Rin surrendered to his brother's wishes and pushed the liquids through the tubing quickly. Orange and then blue. He threw the disgusting things off the bed. Reaching around Yukio, Rin hugged him tightly as the seizures began and blessedly passed quickly. Yukio's heart raced sounding like it would burst through his hollow chest. Then he stiffened and Rin listened with dread bending his head down to Yukio's chest for the moment when… … the world stopped.

Silence.

Rin latched onto the folds of the hospital gown. His own heart spasmed as his stomach crumpled in on itself. His entire body ran cold. A hoarse, earth shattering scream filled the room like the rising waters of a flood drowning those who heard it.

From outside, church bells began ringing.

"Shut uuuppp!," Rin wailed at the incessant clamoring. _Leave him alone. You haven't earned the right to take him._ _He's mine_. "He's my brother... He's mine...he's..." Deep sorrow filled groans spilled out of him faster than he could breathe. They'd fought...and they'd lost.

_Why?... _Blistered Rin begging for answers.

Had God done this?

Was Satan laughing at him, relishing his misery?

_Why would they do this?_

_Why would they take Yukio away from him?_

_Like this..._

When Rin finally lifted his head, he did so through a fog. A lifeless mask stared back at him. It had to be a mask...that wasn't the man he had known. There was no fire, no glint, no twinkle of the genius who had walked these halls. Rin reached up and took off the glasses. With his finger he rubbed at the permanent furrow in between Yukios brows. "No more worrying," said Rin as he ran his hand softly over Yukio's eyes, pulling his lids down forever. He pulled out the nose tube, dropping it to the floor. Rin turned around and wrapped Yukio's limp arms around him. The boy folded his legs and brought them up to his ribs like he did when they were small children. Except then, it had been Yukio tucked under his chin. He held Yukio's hands to his lips as the shadows grew long across the walls. He stayed like that, a huddled mass of nothing, and wished he would be taken too.

Hours after the sun had set, a knock came at the door.

"My Prince, it's time...,"

Someone touched his arm in the dark. Rin flinched, but didn't move further. Someone lifted the cold arm off him and pulled him into a sitting position. Two rail thin arms lifted him up, Rin's tail the last to release it's hold. Every muscle ached, and when Rin tried to stand, his legs betrayed him. Mephisto reached under the man-child and carried him as if he were actually still fifteen.

_Tak-Tak-Tak_, accented the demon's heels on the otherwise quiet streets. The tapping pried his eyes open. Waving from the tops of the old style lamps were flags Rin was sure hadn't been there before; they were at half mast. With a heavy heart, Rin suddenly realized that he was no longer the elder brother of Okumura Yukio. He closed his eyes again, no longer wanting to be a part of the world. He had lost everything today. Everything.

Mephisto took Rin to the apartment he lived in now in when he wasn't taking care of his brother. A tiny living space set up high to overlook the school was all he required these days. Mephisto led him out to the miniature balcony producing a chair made for two and leaned the pile of rags, back onto the cushion.

Taking off his hat, Mephisto sat and laid it on his lap. "Pay attention, Okumura Rin. I wish for you to see this."

His vision blurred. At first, Rin thought he was just seeing streetlights, their light hazy from weeping.

The demon stretched out his arm and removed his purple silk glove. "I gave the word," said Mephisto simply, "and they came."

Rin rubbed his immensely sore eyes, and look harder. The lights were moving. Little glowing orbs were floating up. Hundreds of lanterns rose in the air from the school, out through the town, and far over the hills.

Mephisto tugged on the fingers of the other glove stating solemnly, "Students, patrons, dignitaries, priests, patients...all those he had touched. They all came to show their respect."

Rin gazed out not believing, "You did this for him?..."

The curly cue bobbed imperceptibly, "Funerals are not for the dead. They are for the living. Your brother wouldn't have wanted you to stand still." Mephisto sat his hat in between his knees and reached in going down to his elbow. "Wherever there are shadows, there is also light." He pulled out two red paper lanterns. "Shall we?" He clicked his fingernails together and a plume of orange licked from his hand in the chilly night.

_Shall we_...Rin froze and whipped his head over sitting up straight as an arrow. "Wait- you control time… You can- You can stop this, right?. You can make time rewind… You can do that, can't you?"

The ensuing pause was heavy. "I could…," Mephisto dangled the phrase in front of his prodigy.

Rin grabbed Mephisto's white clad arm grabbing frantically at the fabric. "Then do it. Do it! I want you to do it now!"

Something curdled in Mephisto's eyes, "But, tomorrow is nearly here..."

Rin wrenched his face away, "I don't want tomorrow! I want yesterday and all the yesterdays before that."

Mephisto extinguished the fire he had lit. "All of them? Are you sure about that? I do not believe your brother would have approved. Would you dishonor your sibling's sacrifice by undoing all he had set in place for you?"

Rin looked like he'd been slapped, "I wouldn't ever do that.."

"Ahhh, but you would. There are few things more powerful or as expensive as my magic. Even if I did grant such a wish, the price would undermine his intentions for you. And then there's your children and their childrens' children to think of. Would you risk altering their lives as well?"

Rin wrung his head and wrapped his arms around his legs shivering. "You have all the answers...Why did all this have to happen? Yukio should have been able to die doing something great, not.. not like... a sick old man. He was a hero..." Rin cried into his knee, unable to go on.

Mephisto sighed and grew silent for so long that Rin wondered if he had disappeared. He felt dew form on the back of his neck.

When the deep voice returned it sounded strange to Rin's ears, "The sun will be up soon. Will you let his soul stay with you forever?"

Rin looked up sharply. "_What?"_

"You understand what this means, don't you?" Mephisto looked down at him, his lime eyes boring into him. "You know what you are."

The lanterns, the candles.

Comprehension slowly sunk into Rin.

This world of magic and words, of books and symbolism.

Everything was important.

Everything had meaning.

Rin's eyes grew wide. A world of ghosts. Of demons. No... Oh no. Surely not...

Mephisto stood up in the cramped area and held out the lanterns as if he were the scales of justice. Rin could see Yukio's name brushed on the larger one of them in black ink.

Rin was a demon. The worse kind of all, a son of Satan and he could feel it without knowing what exactly he had to do to make it happen. He knew he was capable of it. He had the power.

Rin nodded. Yes. He understood now what was going on and it sickened him.

If he wanted to, Rin could lock Yukio in limbo forever, as a ghost, a shell of his former self. Rin could keep his brother here with him here in Assiah, as a hostage, forever. It was his choice and it was one he'd never be able to forgive himself for even contemplating. He hated Satan even more than before.

Rin clenched his fingers to his palm and a pulsing blue flame ignited warming his face. He accepted the lamp adorned with his brother's given name.

Orange plumed out next to him. Mephisto let his go first before extinguishing his magic. The king's plain lamp lifted up joining the other tiny hovering specks, carried on the currents that linked heaven to the Earth.

Rin touched his finger tip to the white tea candle. A long glowing red string grew from the bottom humming with life. Yukio's voice haunted him from their talks in the past, _Don't be ridiculous Nii-san, it doesn't matter what I do, my soul will return to Gehenna. Look me up on one of your missions , I'm sure to be there. Or better yet, don't. Who knows what I'll have turned into there. And whatever it is you're thinking, don't you dare follow me. _

"Tch!" Rin said aloud. "I won't accept that Yukio. Not after all you've done. I believe in you and I'll happily be the fool here. To hell with what's supposed to happen, to what you think will happen. I'm sending you to a much better place if I can."

Mephisto looked over and raised an eyebrow.

The lantern rose without a sound.

No screaming

No crying

Effortless

He didn't want to.

But the time had finally come.

"Catch him for me, Shiemi-love. Hold onto him dad and no matter what he says, don't let him go. Everything's depending on us."

Yukio's soul ascended on the invisible currents that linked heaven to Earth. It left the world quietly and lightly. When it touched the first layer of clouds the sky turned bright pink. Rin smiled sadly as a beautiful dawn broke through the night. Tears streamed down his neck, "I'll always love you."

QQQQQQQQ

I could not find who wrote the poem that I used in the Bible. It was used at a funeral for one of our friends and seemed perfect.

Mephisto is the paralyzer - Rin is the poison in his veins... Yukio looked at them both gratefully.


End file.
